How a Pool Noodle Changed My Life

First of all let me preface this by saying I've never been a particularly religious person. My faith is  sort of an odd patchwork of ideas I've picked up in various churches, passages I've read in books, lessons I've learned from people I've met, and maybe there are a few ideas of my own thrown in there, too. It's quite possible I'm going to hell in a hand basket, but I don't know.  I just like to think of myself as a weird little soul just fumbling around through this life trying to learn and grow through experience. So there's that, for whatever it's worth.

That being said, I do like to acknowledge when God, the Universe, or whatever IT is reveals something to me, and I take these lessons very seriously.

This is a story about a pool noodle. A pool noodle very much like this one, but not this one.

I had taken the boys to the pool that day, and the oldest, having no further use for his noodle, left it to float away freely. No big deal, there weren't many families there, and it was only a noodle after all. When we had finished swimming, I gathered up my boys and our belongings and headed for the playground to play in the sun and dry off a bit before getting into the car.  That's when I saw another child playing with our free roaming noodle.

"No big deal," I thought to myself. "He can play with it until we are ready to leave."
Then I gave myself a mental pat on the back for being so decent and sharing my noodle.

All was right with the world until, out of the corner of my eye, I spied the boy taking my noodle and putting it in the chair next to his mother.

OH. NO. YOU. DIDN'T.

I felt my pulse quicken, my chest tighten. I had to investigate further. Surely this kid was not thinking of taking my noodle. I did a quick stroll around the pool just to be sure there were no other rogue noodles before I marched up to his mother to (very politely) demand my property back.

"Excuse me, ma'am. Is that your noodle?"

"Yeah, we just picked it up at the Dollar General on the way here."

"Oh, OK, because we have one that looks just like it and it's missing."

"Sorry."

That was the confrontation. I'm not one to start fights at swimming pools over toys that cost a dollar, but I was angry. And the more I thought about it, the angrier I became.  Not only did these people steal from me, they lied about it. So the whole time my kids were playing, I'm staring at this woman sunbathing next to my noodle, and my anger is growing into rage and taking on a life of its own. Inside my brain is a viciousness, a steady churn of hateful thoughts. "You're a lying liar and a thief, and you're teaching your kids to be dirty lying thieves, too!"

I had to explain to my kids that our noodle was gone. Of course there was some whining in response, and a chorus of "Why? Why?"
"Because we didn't take care of our things. We need to write our name on our things next time, " was my response. But in my mind was a litany of swear words, all directed at this lying, thieving woman and her lying thieving kids. They are what's wrong with the world today! They are the reason good, decent people can't go to the pool and have a good time without worrying about someone stealing their stuff.
We gathered our snacks and towels and began our noodle-less walk toward the exit.

That's when I saw it.

A little girl popped out of the water, noodle in hand, and made her way to the lifeguard stand. She placed the noodle, MY noodle on the ground next to the lifeguard and jumped back into the water.

I glanced back over at the lying thieving woman and her kids and HER noodle and I immediately felt very small.

I was wrong. I sent my son to go retrieve our property and I stood there, alone in my shame. We left the pool with everything we had come with and went home.

All's well that ends well, right?

Well, not really. Not for me, anyway. I just couldn't get over how angry I had become, and how quick I was to blame this woman, whom I had never met, and how quick I was to hate her. I mean HATE. I hated her. I thought the most horrible things about her and I was so self-righteous and justified in my anger and hatred of this woman. All over a pool toy that costs a dollar.  So much ugliness, all over a cheap, piece of crap pool toy.  It was as if God, the Universe, or whatever IT is held up a mirror in front of me and showed me the mean, bitchy, hateful side of myself that I like to pretend doesn't exist. Oh, it exists, all right!

I was humbled. I was humbled by a noodle.

So from now on I will not be so quick to rush to judgement, so quick to anger,  or so quick to hate.

And thank you for the lesson. I needed it.

Word of the day

Today's word is

Visualization
Is calling
Something
Into being
Out of
Nothing


Well, it's the first step, anyway.
That's where I am today. Where do I want to be in a month? Six months? A year?
How will I get there?
What does success look like?
Visualization will help me see where I'm going and how to get there.

Visualization looks like sitting on the back porch with a glass of wine.
I'm very good at visualizing.
I want to be a visionary.

Happy Father's Day!

I wrote this a few years ago for my dear old dad on Father's Day.

To the one who grew me from a seed,
met my every want and need,
whose hand was always firm but fair,
who disciplined with love and care,
to the one who taught me how to fish
here for you my dearest wish...

May my life be a tribute to
all the things I learned from you.
Living as your legacy
here for all the world to see.

To the greatest man I've ever known
From the luckiest seed to ever be sown.


(or something like that. I tend to not write things down and forget them and then they are different every time I share them. But I thought this one was Hallmark worthy.)

Happy Father's Day, Dad!

To 2014... and beyond!

If you know me, you know that I am OCD about haiku.

counting syllables
five, then seven, then five more
I can't help myself

What you may not know, is that I'm the same way about acrostics.


Always trying to
Come up with words worth
Reading up, down and
Over
So I can
Tell my feelings about
Ideas in a
Clever way.
See?

It's what I do.  It helps me wrap my mind around an idea. Anyway, I came across some acrostics I wrote several years ago when I was going through a trying time, and they seemed relevant today. So here are some thoughts for the new year, 2014.

Moving forward
Only limited by
My thoughts
Ever changing
Never still
Tireless in my efforts
Unencumbered by
My past

(I thought about changing the last two lines to Until I reach My goal, but that's not how it was written originally, so I didn't)

On Discipline:

Distractions are
Inevitable but
Stay the
Course
It may be
Painful, but in the
Long run
It will pay off
Never fail to meet your
Expectations of yourself.


On Choices:

Choices we make can
Help or hurt
Ourselves and others
It would be wise to
Consider
Every outcome before
Selecting

On Courage:

Carrying
On,
Understanding that
Real bravery means
Always
Going forward
Even when you're afraid

And this one, for my broken hearted single friends,
On Solitude

Spending time
Occasionally in
Lonely
Isolation can be
Therapeutic.
Understanding hurt
Does not come
Easy


Well, there you are, friends.  Here's to a healthy, prosperous new year! Happy 2014!!

Here's a tip...

This is a post about tipping. Who do you tip? How much? Why? I have some questions and concerns...

I consider myself to be a good tipper. I always tip at least 20%, even if the service isn't that great, because oftentimes the problem isn't the server's fault. I also know that servers in restaurants don't make minimum wage, so it never bothers me to leave the tip on there. My husband is a server in a restaurant and I know those tips go to support our family. A server has to be exceptionally bad for me to tip less than 20%, but I always leave something. And yes, I even tip servers at buffet restaurants just as well because they keep the table clean and refill our drinks.

I also tip my hairdresser, or at least I used to when I used to have a hairdresser. These days I just whack my bangs off into the sink. But if I did go to a barber or hair stylist, I would tip them. It's just proper tipping etiquette, right?

Here's where the waters get muddy. Starbucks. What is the appropriate tip for a $4 cup of coffee? How are the employees compensated? I know restaurant servers make about $2.13 an hour. What is the going rate for a coffee barista? Because I don't want to tip you for doing your job if you're already getting paid for doing your job. And 20% on a $4 cup of coffee is 80 cents. So do I just let you keep the change? Or do I give you a whole extra dollar? I never know what to do at Starbucks. Sometimes I tip if I have some extra money, but mostly I don't. I've probably consumed gallons of Starbucks employee spit in my lifetime. I try not to think about it too much.

I get just as confused about Sonic. It's your job to skate my food out, so do I need to tip you? It isn't polite to ask the car hops how much they make an hour. I usually throw them an extra dollar if I have it, but am I supposed to? Or am I just being generous? I don't know.

This last one is the one that really gets me. I've been seeing signs like this all over:

Gas money? Really? I'm supposed to give you gas money for showing up at your JOB??

I'm seeing tip jars everywhere. Self-serve yogurt shops in particular bother me. I mean, I just went down the little yogurt assembly line and made this delicious treat all by myself, and there's a tip jar by the cash register. Why? But this one was my favorite of all time:

See the little tip cup behind the animal feed sign? Why???

I really do think about this too much. I've decided there must be some psychological thing that happens when humans see a tip jar with a dollar in it that compels them to leave a tip, even when a tip is not warranted. Just seeing the money in the tip jar makes people think that they are supposed to leave a tip, so they do. Without even thinking.

I think perhaps I can use this to my advantage.

At the next parent-teacher conference night I'm going to sit a tip jar on my table. When I'm done dispensing advice about reading with your child, practicing math facts, checking homework and agendas nightly, I'll nonchalantly glance at my tip jar and see what happens. Oooooooh! Even better! I'll label my tip jar "Tips for Tips". I give you tips for helping your child be successful, and you drop a few bills in my jar. I know people think that teachers are selfless individuals who aren't in it for the money, but that isn't entirely true.

I think I might have just stumbled upon a goldmine...

What WAS that? Jeez.. That's never happened before.

I spent a couple of hours very early this morning in the ER because I was having a severe allergic reaction to something. It all began around 4 this morning when I was abruptly awoken by extremely itchy palms. I got out of bed and went into the bathroom so I could investigate further. When I stepped into he light I could see the full extent of what was going on. I was covered from head to toe in hives, my face and lips were swelling, and my skin was red like a lobster all over. Let the panicking begin!
Ever since I had my babies I feel this intense need to take care of myself. I have to preserve my life at all costs because I need to be here to raise my kids. I refuse to take any risks. So the idea of taking benedryl and going back to bed was completely out of the question. Besides, pills can sit in your stomach for a while before they actually start to work and I was MISERABLE! Nothing like an itch you can't scratch, right? Horrible, horrible, horrible. The worst was the itching on the soles of my feet. Torture.
So we get to the ER and we go through the whole drill. No I don't have any known food or drug allergies. I've been eating and taking medicine my whole life and this has never happened. Not even once. There are only two things I think it can be: the shrimp I ate for dinner, or the aspirin I took for my headache. But I ate the shrimp over 5 hours ago and I thought food allergies were pretty fast acting. Then I think, there is noting about me that is fast acting. Maybe my allergies are just as lethargic as I am. Lucky me!
At any rate, my late blooming allergies landed me in the ER, where I was given an IV of benedryl. WOW!! The itching ceased almost immediately, but the room started spinning and I felt... pretty good, actually. I remember thinking, "I wish I could feel like this all the time!"
That was when the wave of diarrhea hit. I floated to the bathroom, sat down, and was fascinated by what was happening to my body. I'm thinking, "I love you, body. I love how you take care of me. I love how you are purging this evil from us. You do everything without my help. I have such an amazing body!!"
Then I remembered they wanted me to pee in a cup, but I couldn't make that happen.
My visit to the ER finally ends with them telling me to avoid shrimp, which is probably what made all this happen. Follow up with my primary care doctor, who will probably send me to an allergist.
OK.
But now all I can think about is shrimp. I love it. I've always eaten it. I enjoy shrimp several times a month. I start feeling like Bubba from Forrest Gump...

But I'll do anything to avoid another episode like this morning's.

So, bye-bye, shrimp. Fruit of the sea...

It's not you, it's me.

Got Milk?

The word of the day? Galactagogue

Sounds like something from outer space, doesn't it?
A galactagogue, in case you were wondering(or even if you weren't), is any agent that promotes milk production.

I'm in the process of weaning the New Guy. Not because I want to, but because I'm losing my milk. And it makes me sad.
It seems like I've faced all sorts of obstacles with breastfeeding this baby from the time he was born. He was born with jaundice, and I was told not to breast feed him just in case it was something in my milk that was causing it. I didn't know enough to argue with the doctors and I got conflicting information. But when someone tells you that your baby could suffer brain damage from jaundice, well...
So I had a hard time getting my milk established and we ended up supplementing with formula. I was OK with that. I figured he was still getting the benefits of mother's milk.
Then, when my baby was three months old I got sick and had to take antibiotics. I didn't even think to tell the doctor that I was nursing and to please prescribe me something that would be OK for the baby. When I researched the medicine at home I learned that it was not compatible with breastfeeding. So we fed the New Guy expressed breast milk from the freezer and I pumped to keep my supply up. It made me so sad to pour my milk down the drain, and I noticed I was getting less and less all the time. I couldn't pump often enough to keep my supply up.
For the last few weeks I have been pumping only an ounce at a time, which I just pour into his formula bottles. Or I save it up until there is enough to make one breast milk bottle. I've been taking fenugreek to try to boost my supply, but it makes my pee smell funny and I don't really like it.

It's time to wean my baby.

He's now six months old. He's meeting all of his milestones ahead of schedule. He has two teeth, he's rolling all over the place, reaching, grabbing, pulling... he laughs all the time. He hasn't suffered any ill effects from being formula fed. I knew he wouldn't. I know many mothers who have formula fed exclusively because it was the best choice for them and their babies are perfectly healthy.

I think what it really comes down to is that producing breast milk burns calories.
Now I have to start working out.

Got milk?

I don't, and I'm OK with it now.