What WAS that? Jeez.. That's never happened before.

I spent a couple of hours very early this morning in the ER because I was having a severe allergic reaction to something. It all began around 4 this morning when I was abruptly awoken by extremely itchy palms. I got out of bed and went into the bathroom so I could investigate further. When I stepped into he light I could see the full extent of what was going on. I was covered from head to toe in hives, my face and lips were swelling, and my skin was red like a lobster all over. Let the panicking begin!
Ever since I had my babies I feel this intense need to take care of myself. I have to preserve my life at all costs because I need to be here to raise my kids. I refuse to take any risks. So the idea of taking benedryl and going back to bed was completely out of the question. Besides, pills can sit in your stomach for a while before they actually start to work and I was MISERABLE! Nothing like an itch you can't scratch, right? Horrible, horrible, horrible. The worst was the itching on the soles of my feet. Torture.
So we get to the ER and we go through the whole drill. No I don't have any known food or drug allergies. I've been eating and taking medicine my whole life and this has never happened. Not even once. There are only two things I think it can be: the shrimp I ate for dinner, or the aspirin I took for my headache. But I ate the shrimp over 5 hours ago and I thought food allergies were pretty fast acting. Then I think, there is noting about me that is fast acting. Maybe my allergies are just as lethargic as I am. Lucky me!
At any rate, my late blooming allergies landed me in the ER, where I was given an IV of benedryl. WOW!! The itching ceased almost immediately, but the room started spinning and I felt... pretty good, actually. I remember thinking, "I wish I could feel like this all the time!"
That was when the wave of diarrhea hit. I floated to the bathroom, sat down, and was fascinated by what was happening to my body. I'm thinking, "I love you, body. I love how you take care of me. I love how you are purging this evil from us. You do everything without my help. I have such an amazing body!!"
Then I remembered they wanted me to pee in a cup, but I couldn't make that happen.
My visit to the ER finally ends with them telling me to avoid shrimp, which is probably what made all this happen. Follow up with my primary care doctor, who will probably send me to an allergist.
OK.
But now all I can think about is shrimp. I love it. I've always eaten it. I enjoy shrimp several times a month. I start feeling like Bubba from Forrest Gump...

But I'll do anything to avoid another episode like this morning's.

So, bye-bye, shrimp. Fruit of the sea...

It's not you, it's me.

Got Milk?

The word of the day? Galactagogue

Sounds like something from outer space, doesn't it?
A galactagogue, in case you were wondering(or even if you weren't), is any agent that promotes milk production.

I'm in the process of weaning the New Guy. Not because I want to, but because I'm losing my milk. And it makes me sad.
It seems like I've faced all sorts of obstacles with breastfeeding this baby from the time he was born. He was born with jaundice, and I was told not to breast feed him just in case it was something in my milk that was causing it. I didn't know enough to argue with the doctors and I got conflicting information. But when someone tells you that your baby could suffer brain damage from jaundice, well...
So I had a hard time getting my milk established and we ended up supplementing with formula. I was OK with that. I figured he was still getting the benefits of mother's milk.
Then, when my baby was three months old I got sick and had to take antibiotics. I didn't even think to tell the doctor that I was nursing and to please prescribe me something that would be OK for the baby. When I researched the medicine at home I learned that it was not compatible with breastfeeding. So we fed the New Guy expressed breast milk from the freezer and I pumped to keep my supply up. It made me so sad to pour my milk down the drain, and I noticed I was getting less and less all the time. I couldn't pump often enough to keep my supply up.
For the last few weeks I have been pumping only an ounce at a time, which I just pour into his formula bottles. Or I save it up until there is enough to make one breast milk bottle. I've been taking fenugreek to try to boost my supply, but it makes my pee smell funny and I don't really like it.

It's time to wean my baby.

He's now six months old. He's meeting all of his milestones ahead of schedule. He has two teeth, he's rolling all over the place, reaching, grabbing, pulling... he laughs all the time. He hasn't suffered any ill effects from being formula fed. I knew he wouldn't. I know many mothers who have formula fed exclusively because it was the best choice for them and their babies are perfectly healthy.

I think what it really comes down to is that producing breast milk burns calories.
Now I have to start working out.

Got milk?

I don't, and I'm OK with it now.

My thoughts on vegetarianism

I have a friend who is on a quest for enlightenment. (What is that really? I'm a simpleton. I looked up 'enlightenment' in the dictionary, and it said 'the state of being enlightened.' I hate when the dictionary defines the word I'm looking for WITH THE SAME WORD I'M LOOKING UP. Clearly, if I knew what it meant I wouldn't be consulting the dictionary, now would I? But I digress...)
I have a friend who is on a quest for enlightenment. After researching what it means to be 'enlightened', I have come to the conclusion that it is an admirable goal. In her quest she has been following the teachings of some spiritual guru whose name eludes me at the moment. This spiritual guru offers some 'suggestions' or 'rules' as it were that one should follow along the path to enlightenment, one of these being something along the lines of "Hurt no living thing" which in turn means that you should also eat no living thing. According to my friend, she has been trying to stick to this vegetarian lifestyle for months, but she can't seem to make it two whole weeks without being foiled by some sneaky meat or animal product hidden in her food. In particular, she has a problem with sneaky chicken eggs.
This got me thinking about vegetarianism as a lifestyle. I tried it when I was in high school and I found that it just wasn't for me. I know that there are different brands of vegetarians. Lacto-ovo vegetarians eat eggs and drink milk. Sounds good to me. The hens are laying the eggs anyway, and the ones you eat are not going to become chickens. Not only are eggs a good source of protein, but they are also delicious and used to make a lot of stuff. The same goes for milk. Delicious and nutritious, and no one gets hurt. That is, as long as your milk and eggs come from happy, free-range chickens and cows, and not those factory farm places that stuff chickens into tiny cages and feed cows corn that they were never meant to eat and can't digest.
Pesco vegetarians will eat fish and seafood, but not other animals. To me that means they won't eat cute animals. What makes cows and chickens any better than fish? I guess if you look into a fish's eyes they don't really look like they have souls, but chickens don't either. Not to me anyway. But cows, they are another story all together.
I'm not even going to talk about vegans. They are just too hard core for me.
This brings me to the whole point of this blog, my thoughts on vegetarianism. I have never killed an animal. Not on purpose. I ran over a puppy once, but not on purpose. I have never killed an animal to eat. It was dead when I bought it. If I didn't eat it, it would still be dead. No one killed it especially for me. If someone doesn't eat it, it will go to waste, and to me that is more terrible than the fact that someone somewhere killed the animal to be eaten in the first place. Take a moment and just think about all the good food you throw out in a day. There are hungry people right here in our very own city who would love to have that food you're throwing out. If the meat in your grocer's freezer isn't eaten, it is going to get thrown out, and then that animal's life was truly given in vain. Therefore I feel I am honoring the animal's life when I marinate its meat and grill it over hot coals.
I'm not a vegetarian. I'm a pragmatist. I have a 'don't ask, don't tell' relationship with my food. I am an animal lover. I just happen to love them medium rare.

"Vegetables are not food. Vegetables are what food eats."

Right here, right now

Sometimes I get discouraged. I'm not really sure just exactly what it is I should be doing with my life. Did I choose the right career? Right now I'm not feeling like a great success at work. Should I be climbing some ladder, should I be achieving more? Do I even really care?
I see people all around me doing big things. I have friends pursuing doctoral degrees. I have friends traveling the world. I see them doing these things, these big things, and it stirs up all kinds of emotions in me. I feel happy and excited for them, but I also feel a little bit jealous. I feel jealous because I'd like to do something, too. My problem is I don't know what I want to do. I think it's pretty dumb to not even know what you want. Everything is kind of at a standstill for me right not and sometimes I feel jealous and frustrated and sad.
But then I hold my babies. I hold them and I watch them play and I know without any doubt that I am exactly where I am supposed to be doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing. A good friend of mine told me we should thank God for the seasons of our lives. I've thought about that statement a lot. I've thought about how true and right it is and how grateful I am for the opportunity to raise two little boys when I know so many people who would give anything to experience the very things I complain about.

"Right here, right now, there is no other place I wanna be."
Thank you Jesus Jones, I couldn't have said it better myself.

Balance

How do people do it?
How do people manage to manage everything?
I'll be returning to work soon after being on maternity leave for a blissful eight weeks. Just thinking about it makes my head spin. I have a very demanding job. I'm a teacher. It's important that I give 100% every day all the time. And I want to. I want to be Super Teacher. I want to be one of those teachers who gets to go on the Oprah show because my students do incredible things because I'm the best teacher in the world ever. Then I would write a book telling other teachers how to be as great as I am and I'd make a million dollars. But I would still teach even when I was a millionaire because, doggone it, I just love teaching.

However, I'm also a mom. I have two small children. And It's important that I give them 100% also. I want to be Super Mom. I want to raise the most thoughtful, best educated, most well mannered children the world has ever seen. My children will grow up to do amazing things. Write books, play music, invent things, discover cures for diseases... whatever they do they will be amazing at it because I'm the best mom in the world.

Don't forget about being a wife, too! My husband and I have a very easy, friendly, happy relationship, but that doesn't mean it doesn't need tending also.

How do people do it?
Maybe they don't. Maybe they can't and that's why so many people are medicated and/or drunk.
(Whenever I see people who seem to have it all together I imagine they must be either bulimic or just drunk alcoholics because no one can have it all together. But that's just me being a hater.)

The more I think about it the more I realize I just have to let it go. What I've found in all my years of living is that the more I worry and try to control things, the more they fall apart.
I'll just do the best I can with what I have, and the rest of the time just hang on and enjoy the ride.

"Let it flow, let yourself go. Slow and low that is the tempo."

Let it flow, my friends. Let it flow. :)

Snow Day!!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone


Who doesn't love a good snow day?

Nature vs. Nurture (or boys will be boys)

I'm very happy to be the mother of two sons. Not that I don't like female children, but from my vast experience in working with children I have found boys to be simple. Not simple as in lacking mental acuity, but easy to understand and deal with. I have found boys to be generally rougher and tougher than girls, with far fewer dramatics. I have also found that boys have a natural proclivity for annoying girls. I'm beginning to notice this in my oldest son.
Even though I know that boys love to pester and annoy girls, I wasn't sure where they learned their methods. By watching my own son I'm beginning to think they don't learn them from anyone. They are born knowing exactly what to do to aggravate, annoy, pester, and otherwise torment any female they happen across.
Let me cite some examples. My three year old son has several tricks up his sleeve, and since I'm the only female in the house I get to enjoy all of them. He likes to sneak up behind me, lick his finger and wipe it on my face. Sometimes he'll skip the finger part and just lick my face. He'll pretend he's going to give me a kiss when he's actually going to lick my face. During dinner he'll lick his finger and stick it into my food. He'll tell me that he has to use the potty so that I'll get up to take him to the bathroom. As soon as I get up he steals my chair. He's also a nipple twister. The list goes on and on.
I've noticed he doesn't do these things to his father, only me. To my knowledge he has never seen anyone else exhibit these behaviors, so I don't believe he learned them from anyone. I believe these behaviors are inborn. He can't help it. Boys can't help it that they are annoying, it is their nature. Boys will be boys, I guess.
Lucky for my son he also inherited my blue eyes and his father's charm, otherwise he might not survive to adulthood. Especially if he keeps licking my food.

Happy New Year!

In keeping with tradition, I hereby resolve to do/be/change the following things/habits in this new year 2011:

1. I will lose this baby weight! Having our new baby was the biggest blessing of 2010. He'll be six weeks old tomorrow and I still look like I'm pregnant. It's very disheartening when Spanx can't even tame your baby belly. But beyond looking good in clothes, I need to get my body in shape so I can take care of the babies. I was so big during the last 3 months of my pregnancy that I couldn't really move so much, so now I'm all stiff and brittle like a dried up twig. I snap, crackle and pop when I move. Resolution #1 is to get in shape.

2. I will resume my reducing/reusing/recycling. I used to take the recycling to the recycling center every Saturday on my way to my Weight Watchers meeting. When I got pregnant I quit going to weight watchers and therefore I quit recycling because I wasn't "already getting out and going that way". I don't want to be part of the problem because I'm too lazy to get out on a Saturday afternoon and drive five minutes to the recycling center. I need to be a good example to my kids. Going green is going to be even more important to their generation, so I need to help them get good habits in place. So I'll be resuming my weekly trips to the recycling center, buying some compact florescent light bulbs, taking my own bags to the grocery store, and turning stuff off when I'm not using it.

3. I will get organized! This one is really important to me. I waste so much money paying late fees because I don't pay my bills on time. Not because I don't have the money, but because I don't pay attention to what day it is. I bought myself a calendar today. That's a first step. Now I need to go through and write due dates for everything on the calendar. Then I need to set an alarm on my phone to remind myself to check the calendar every day.

Jeez. It is extremely hard to overcome a lifetime of bad habits! But again, I need to do it for my kids. Never mind doing it for myself. I've managed to make it this far in life. I mean, I graduated with my Master's, I have a career, I own my own home...Besides that, I feel that I'm a bit of a lost cause. I don't understand organized people. If I leave my stuff laying everywhere, then I always have everything at my fingertips (even if i do have to spend some time looking for it). My kids, on the other hand, are blank slates. I want them to be better than I have been at managing my time/money/health. I want to keep them out of the cloud of chaos that I live in because I'm a disorganized mess.
The things I do for you boys... You have no idea!

So those are my resolutions for 2011. I think it's a pretty realistic list. I think these things are do-able. I think these goals are all within reach. I think I will start working on them...
tomorrow.