To 2014... and beyond!

If you know me, you know that I am OCD about haiku.

counting syllables
five, then seven, then five more
I can't help myself

What you may not know, is that I'm the same way about acrostics.


Always trying to
Come up with words worth
Reading up, down and
Over
So I can
Tell my feelings about
Ideas in a
Clever way.
See?

It's what I do.  It helps me wrap my mind around an idea. Anyway, I came across some acrostics I wrote several years ago when I was going through a trying time, and they seemed relevant today. So here are some thoughts for the new year, 2014.

Moving forward
Only limited by
My thoughts
Ever changing
Never still
Tireless in my efforts
Unencumbered by
My past

(I thought about changing the last two lines to Until I reach My goal, but that's not how it was written originally, so I didn't)

On Discipline:

Distractions are
Inevitable but
Stay the
Course
It may be
Painful, but in the
Long run
It will pay off
Never fail to meet your
Expectations of yourself.


On Choices:

Choices we make can
Help or hurt
Ourselves and others
It would be wise to
Consider
Every outcome before
Selecting

On Courage:

Carrying
On,
Understanding that
Real bravery means
Always
Going forward
Even when you're afraid

And this one, for my broken hearted single friends,
On Solitude

Spending time
Occasionally in
Lonely
Isolation can be
Therapeutic.
Understanding hurt
Does not come
Easy


Well, there you are, friends.  Here's to a healthy, prosperous new year! Happy 2014!!

Here's a tip...

This is a post about tipping. Who do you tip? How much? Why? I have some questions and concerns...

I consider myself to be a good tipper. I always tip at least 20%, even if the service isn't that great, because oftentimes the problem isn't the server's fault. I also know that servers in restaurants don't make minimum wage, so it never bothers me to leave the tip on there. My husband is a server in a restaurant and I know those tips go to support our family. A server has to be exceptionally bad for me to tip less than 20%, but I always leave something. And yes, I even tip servers at buffet restaurants just as well because they keep the table clean and refill our drinks.

I also tip my hairdresser, or at least I used to when I used to have a hairdresser. These days I just whack my bangs off into the sink. But if I did go to a barber or hair stylist, I would tip them. It's just proper tipping etiquette, right?

Here's where the waters get muddy. Starbucks. What is the appropriate tip for a $4 cup of coffee? How are the employees compensated? I know restaurant servers make about $2.13 an hour. What is the going rate for a coffee barista? Because I don't want to tip you for doing your job if you're already getting paid for doing your job. And 20% on a $4 cup of coffee is 80 cents. So do I just let you keep the change? Or do I give you a whole extra dollar? I never know what to do at Starbucks. Sometimes I tip if I have some extra money, but mostly I don't. I've probably consumed gallons of Starbucks employee spit in my lifetime. I try not to think about it too much.

I get just as confused about Sonic. It's your job to skate my food out, so do I need to tip you? It isn't polite to ask the car hops how much they make an hour. I usually throw them an extra dollar if I have it, but am I supposed to? Or am I just being generous? I don't know.

This last one is the one that really gets me. I've been seeing signs like this all over:

Gas money? Really? I'm supposed to give you gas money for showing up at your JOB??

I'm seeing tip jars everywhere. Self-serve yogurt shops in particular bother me. I mean, I just went down the little yogurt assembly line and made this delicious treat all by myself, and there's a tip jar by the cash register. Why? But this one was my favorite of all time:

See the little tip cup behind the animal feed sign? Why???

I really do think about this too much. I've decided there must be some psychological thing that happens when humans see a tip jar with a dollar in it that compels them to leave a tip, even when a tip is not warranted. Just seeing the money in the tip jar makes people think that they are supposed to leave a tip, so they do. Without even thinking.

I think perhaps I can use this to my advantage.

At the next parent-teacher conference night I'm going to sit a tip jar on my table. When I'm done dispensing advice about reading with your child, practicing math facts, checking homework and agendas nightly, I'll nonchalantly glance at my tip jar and see what happens. Oooooooh! Even better! I'll label my tip jar "Tips for Tips". I give you tips for helping your child be successful, and you drop a few bills in my jar. I know people think that teachers are selfless individuals who aren't in it for the money, but that isn't entirely true.

I think I might have just stumbled upon a goldmine...

What WAS that? Jeez.. That's never happened before.

I spent a couple of hours very early this morning in the ER because I was having a severe allergic reaction to something. It all began around 4 this morning when I was abruptly awoken by extremely itchy palms. I got out of bed and went into the bathroom so I could investigate further. When I stepped into he light I could see the full extent of what was going on. I was covered from head to toe in hives, my face and lips were swelling, and my skin was red like a lobster all over. Let the panicking begin!
Ever since I had my babies I feel this intense need to take care of myself. I have to preserve my life at all costs because I need to be here to raise my kids. I refuse to take any risks. So the idea of taking benedryl and going back to bed was completely out of the question. Besides, pills can sit in your stomach for a while before they actually start to work and I was MISERABLE! Nothing like an itch you can't scratch, right? Horrible, horrible, horrible. The worst was the itching on the soles of my feet. Torture.
So we get to the ER and we go through the whole drill. No I don't have any known food or drug allergies. I've been eating and taking medicine my whole life and this has never happened. Not even once. There are only two things I think it can be: the shrimp I ate for dinner, or the aspirin I took for my headache. But I ate the shrimp over 5 hours ago and I thought food allergies were pretty fast acting. Then I think, there is noting about me that is fast acting. Maybe my allergies are just as lethargic as I am. Lucky me!
At any rate, my late blooming allergies landed me in the ER, where I was given an IV of benedryl. WOW!! The itching ceased almost immediately, but the room started spinning and I felt... pretty good, actually. I remember thinking, "I wish I could feel like this all the time!"
That was when the wave of diarrhea hit. I floated to the bathroom, sat down, and was fascinated by what was happening to my body. I'm thinking, "I love you, body. I love how you take care of me. I love how you are purging this evil from us. You do everything without my help. I have such an amazing body!!"
Then I remembered they wanted me to pee in a cup, but I couldn't make that happen.
My visit to the ER finally ends with them telling me to avoid shrimp, which is probably what made all this happen. Follow up with my primary care doctor, who will probably send me to an allergist.
OK.
But now all I can think about is shrimp. I love it. I've always eaten it. I enjoy shrimp several times a month. I start feeling like Bubba from Forrest Gump...

But I'll do anything to avoid another episode like this morning's.

So, bye-bye, shrimp. Fruit of the sea...

It's not you, it's me.

Got Milk?

The word of the day? Galactagogue

Sounds like something from outer space, doesn't it?
A galactagogue, in case you were wondering(or even if you weren't), is any agent that promotes milk production.

I'm in the process of weaning the New Guy. Not because I want to, but because I'm losing my milk. And it makes me sad.
It seems like I've faced all sorts of obstacles with breastfeeding this baby from the time he was born. He was born with jaundice, and I was told not to breast feed him just in case it was something in my milk that was causing it. I didn't know enough to argue with the doctors and I got conflicting information. But when someone tells you that your baby could suffer brain damage from jaundice, well...
So I had a hard time getting my milk established and we ended up supplementing with formula. I was OK with that. I figured he was still getting the benefits of mother's milk.
Then, when my baby was three months old I got sick and had to take antibiotics. I didn't even think to tell the doctor that I was nursing and to please prescribe me something that would be OK for the baby. When I researched the medicine at home I learned that it was not compatible with breastfeeding. So we fed the New Guy expressed breast milk from the freezer and I pumped to keep my supply up. It made me so sad to pour my milk down the drain, and I noticed I was getting less and less all the time. I couldn't pump often enough to keep my supply up.
For the last few weeks I have been pumping only an ounce at a time, which I just pour into his formula bottles. Or I save it up until there is enough to make one breast milk bottle. I've been taking fenugreek to try to boost my supply, but it makes my pee smell funny and I don't really like it.

It's time to wean my baby.

He's now six months old. He's meeting all of his milestones ahead of schedule. He has two teeth, he's rolling all over the place, reaching, grabbing, pulling... he laughs all the time. He hasn't suffered any ill effects from being formula fed. I knew he wouldn't. I know many mothers who have formula fed exclusively because it was the best choice for them and their babies are perfectly healthy.

I think what it really comes down to is that producing breast milk burns calories.
Now I have to start working out.

Got milk?

I don't, and I'm OK with it now.

My thoughts on vegetarianism

I have a friend who is on a quest for enlightenment. (What is that really? I'm a simpleton. I looked up 'enlightenment' in the dictionary, and it said 'the state of being enlightened.' I hate when the dictionary defines the word I'm looking for WITH THE SAME WORD I'M LOOKING UP. Clearly, if I knew what it meant I wouldn't be consulting the dictionary, now would I? But I digress...)
I have a friend who is on a quest for enlightenment. After researching what it means to be 'enlightened', I have come to the conclusion that it is an admirable goal. In her quest she has been following the teachings of some spiritual guru whose name eludes me at the moment. This spiritual guru offers some 'suggestions' or 'rules' as it were that one should follow along the path to enlightenment, one of these being something along the lines of "Hurt no living thing" which in turn means that you should also eat no living thing. According to my friend, she has been trying to stick to this vegetarian lifestyle for months, but she can't seem to make it two whole weeks without being foiled by some sneaky meat or animal product hidden in her food. In particular, she has a problem with sneaky chicken eggs.
This got me thinking about vegetarianism as a lifestyle. I tried it when I was in high school and I found that it just wasn't for me. I know that there are different brands of vegetarians. Lacto-ovo vegetarians eat eggs and drink milk. Sounds good to me. The hens are laying the eggs anyway, and the ones you eat are not going to become chickens. Not only are eggs a good source of protein, but they are also delicious and used to make a lot of stuff. The same goes for milk. Delicious and nutritious, and no one gets hurt. That is, as long as your milk and eggs come from happy, free-range chickens and cows, and not those factory farm places that stuff chickens into tiny cages and feed cows corn that they were never meant to eat and can't digest.
Pesco vegetarians will eat fish and seafood, but not other animals. To me that means they won't eat cute animals. What makes cows and chickens any better than fish? I guess if you look into a fish's eyes they don't really look like they have souls, but chickens don't either. Not to me anyway. But cows, they are another story all together.
I'm not even going to talk about vegans. They are just too hard core for me.
This brings me to the whole point of this blog, my thoughts on vegetarianism. I have never killed an animal. Not on purpose. I ran over a puppy once, but not on purpose. I have never killed an animal to eat. It was dead when I bought it. If I didn't eat it, it would still be dead. No one killed it especially for me. If someone doesn't eat it, it will go to waste, and to me that is more terrible than the fact that someone somewhere killed the animal to be eaten in the first place. Take a moment and just think about all the good food you throw out in a day. There are hungry people right here in our very own city who would love to have that food you're throwing out. If the meat in your grocer's freezer isn't eaten, it is going to get thrown out, and then that animal's life was truly given in vain. Therefore I feel I am honoring the animal's life when I marinate its meat and grill it over hot coals.
I'm not a vegetarian. I'm a pragmatist. I have a 'don't ask, don't tell' relationship with my food. I am an animal lover. I just happen to love them medium rare.

"Vegetables are not food. Vegetables are what food eats."

Right here, right now

Sometimes I get discouraged. I'm not really sure just exactly what it is I should be doing with my life. Did I choose the right career? Right now I'm not feeling like a great success at work. Should I be climbing some ladder, should I be achieving more? Do I even really care?
I see people all around me doing big things. I have friends pursuing doctoral degrees. I have friends traveling the world. I see them doing these things, these big things, and it stirs up all kinds of emotions in me. I feel happy and excited for them, but I also feel a little bit jealous. I feel jealous because I'd like to do something, too. My problem is I don't know what I want to do. I think it's pretty dumb to not even know what you want. Everything is kind of at a standstill for me right not and sometimes I feel jealous and frustrated and sad.
But then I hold my babies. I hold them and I watch them play and I know without any doubt that I am exactly where I am supposed to be doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing. A good friend of mine told me we should thank God for the seasons of our lives. I've thought about that statement a lot. I've thought about how true and right it is and how grateful I am for the opportunity to raise two little boys when I know so many people who would give anything to experience the very things I complain about.

"Right here, right now, there is no other place I wanna be."
Thank you Jesus Jones, I couldn't have said it better myself.

Balance

How do people do it?
How do people manage to manage everything?
I'll be returning to work soon after being on maternity leave for a blissful eight weeks. Just thinking about it makes my head spin. I have a very demanding job. I'm a teacher. It's important that I give 100% every day all the time. And I want to. I want to be Super Teacher. I want to be one of those teachers who gets to go on the Oprah show because my students do incredible things because I'm the best teacher in the world ever. Then I would write a book telling other teachers how to be as great as I am and I'd make a million dollars. But I would still teach even when I was a millionaire because, doggone it, I just love teaching.

However, I'm also a mom. I have two small children. And It's important that I give them 100% also. I want to be Super Mom. I want to raise the most thoughtful, best educated, most well mannered children the world has ever seen. My children will grow up to do amazing things. Write books, play music, invent things, discover cures for diseases... whatever they do they will be amazing at it because I'm the best mom in the world.

Don't forget about being a wife, too! My husband and I have a very easy, friendly, happy relationship, but that doesn't mean it doesn't need tending also.

How do people do it?
Maybe they don't. Maybe they can't and that's why so many people are medicated and/or drunk.
(Whenever I see people who seem to have it all together I imagine they must be either bulimic or just drunk alcoholics because no one can have it all together. But that's just me being a hater.)

The more I think about it the more I realize I just have to let it go. What I've found in all my years of living is that the more I worry and try to control things, the more they fall apart.
I'll just do the best I can with what I have, and the rest of the time just hang on and enjoy the ride.

"Let it flow, let yourself go. Slow and low that is the tempo."

Let it flow, my friends. Let it flow. :)